1.1.11

Lucky they say. The start of the New Year. Happens rarely. Or hardly? I’m not sure but four ones in a row. That’s something!

So obviously today is brand new start of another decade.  First day of the first month of the first year of  2011. I know what I want to  happen. What I need to do to make things happen. I know that if I sit and stare and do nothing, then it will be the same thing again.  This time I’ll make sure, what I what happens.  Because I need hence I want. Because I would love to hence I need. And because I want to be in that state of equilibrium.

So yesterday I welcomed 2011 alone. Same thing last year. I felt like like lonely bastard. I wasn’t lonely. I was just alone. What the hell can I do? There’s  no one so there nobody. I ate.  I watched. I ate.  Sent SMS to contacts.  Browsed the web. I was just staring mostly. Waiting for the clock to move. Hour after hour. There was nothing to do but watch and wait. Thirty  minutes before  the year was to change,  I went out and looked up at the sky.  It looks like battle field above. Lights and smoke together.  Sounds of distant blast.  Echoes of thunderous fireworks. It was noisy  revelry. I just stood there.  After a while, a longing in engulfed me. Happy  new year!

And I sigh. I took it  upon myself to look after myself.  But somethings gotta give, 2011!

But anyway, my mind right now can’t seem to come up with something to say here. I’m too full to even think. I’ll comeback and finish this in a while.

After an hour… I’m back.

I said earlier I’m too full too think. I meant, I just had a heavy meal. I feel lazy and sleepy and and just damn lethargic! *Yawns*.

When I look back  and think of last year, 2010 was okay. It’s not the greatest but it’s  not bad either. It’s just right. the start was good, but halfway through the middle.. rocky road.. but still better. The middle was stagnant. Found hope and what I thought was longing. Brief interlude of profanity. Last part, Apathy at most. But happy was able to pull through.

I don’t really ponder on new years resolution.  I usually call them wishes and promises  you want to come true.. or come through as the case maybe. For this year… if I have to I will.  If I need to I’ll do so.  I want to feel. I’d like to feel.  Somehow.. 2011, it’ll come through. It will come true. It has too.

2011  be good, kind, and,  lucky and don’t give any headaches!

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