Skylark Down

I felt it, it came back. I know it’s just a mind a thing but still,  it gave me the blues.   The fact the it was in my head made me realize it’s gloomy thought indeed. It was chilly morning. Probably had a controlled snifle or two. I’m okay.

The previous night before, thoughts swiveled in my head. As usual, it’s  the same as all my every day thoughts when I’m in deep blue funk.

I keep trying but I never do anything. I should stop. It’s useless anyway. I want to. I really. It doesn’t matter as I’m the only one who feels. It’s not fair to me.

I won’t let disappointment cloud any judgment I have. It’s been years. Almost a decade and yet I still am trying…even though I know it’s futile attempt. If things we’re to happen, I sincerely doubt, I would be all over and fawning though it would give me some sense of fulfillment. I’m only brave here. I don’t think I measure up to standards. Whatever they may be. I don’t care. It’s okay. It’ doesn’t matter, Really.

Last night, for the nth time, I watched my favorite movie.

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