Love me like a Sunday

Alone with my nocturnally narcoleptic thoughts, all I can do is sigh. I want a hug. There’s no one.

I’m still awake. I don’t really try to sleep during this time of ungodly hour of the morning. Can’t…won’t. I don’t have insomnia though. I just don’t feel like it. I guess.

I hear the hiss of the wind The tree leaves swaying. A fierce calm on the offing. Kinda like same thing that I’ve been having. No I’m not about to explode with my quiet anger I’m just actually pissed. Shrugs. I’m not missed anyway. I thought I would be. I thought I am… I don’t care. Right..but I’m whining. So damn fucking typical of me. I’ve never been rude. Maybe in ways I am which I don’t mean to..little shitty situations which being rude can be forgiven…but over all, I’m damn miss manners. I am pissed because..because. Just fucking because. That’s it. I’m sensitive and I give a lot of meaning to something so damn petty. Argh, grow up! I’m damn alone and so I vent my inner fucked up self here. Okay, ’nuff said about me being pissed.

Where’s a man when you need one. It’s unbearably lonely. I’d like to cuddle. To snuggle, to feel the warmth of another body enclosed in spoon embrace. It’s pretty cold right now.  I need a human blanket with me burying my head in man’s neck, laying my head on the his chest. Arms wrap around the waist feeling so deeply cared, safe and secure. I wanna grow old with you.. whoever that you maybe. I don’t even know. The heart knows. The mind agrees. The body definitely. But…where is the fairy tale? The ending isn’t always happily ever after because there is the harsh realities of the real world.

I’m not pissed anymore. Maybe just lonely. Alone and feeling depressed. As usual.

Shit. Horrible rainstorrm threatening to pour down. I’ll finish these thoughts later.


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