Waiting, coming up short

Lament, once more.

How could I have been so such shit. I was excited. I turned it on. I waited. and waited.. then I figured hell, I’ll turn off pc first but it’s 5 pm middle eat time. I should’ve waited. I did. I would never fucking missed it for anything else. It’s the one thing I’ve been always asking. Praying for. And here I am, once more aching. Wanting another chance. To have that rare glimpse of retrogress for real, to connect with fate and become as one forever entwined souls with our mindless brain indulges. I wanted nothing else but this. I wait for this. then I messed it all up..all because I signed out. figured, perhaps the “PROMISE” was forgotten cos, I was waiting. Had waited. two hours. I was on time.but stupid me ruined everything.

I was on a high earlier and fucked up something then this.. why am I to suffer? I want that moment of tryst. The intellectual moment of z and s … the young girl alone and the old man, the guitar man, the smartest man I know. I thought we were to have that time once more..for us. A time in way that only he and I would understand. Personal joke of seeming endless sparring of the brain. We have our own little world inside our heads and hearts that nobody can invade as only he and I can really understand what it feels like to feel. ..because memories are powerful and potent weapon. Succumbs us to grab hold of every opportunity to claim even just a piece of the past.

To realize the value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet

and although we are not lovers..though in our own world and past, we had profane understanding of ourselves and value the years of requited love of different kind.

I know it will be another time before a communication ensues. When I left an offline message, I said one more chance. And if tomorrow comes and it never happens.. then I know for sure, I will have to wait once more. My faith never wavered. And I know fate of a different kind will follow suit. But when..that is the question.

I’m sad right now. Disappointed..but I’ll wait again.

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