There’s always comfort, somehow

I want a fairy tale.

Why do I bother? I felt silly afterwards. Sore and silly. Hardly anything verbal, conversation was done through the most impersonal thing. I don’t even know the person. It’s silly in a pathetic way. It really is. I wasn’t in the least bit sorry though. It was good way to unwind and waste time. Exchange of silliness with a somehow revenant one. It brought me back to the past. And  so I tried to engage in a sly of  conversation.  Out of impulsiveness hence the beginning of what was to be the nonsensical banters. but I wanted to because as I remember how it used to be.  The wit showed throughout. I wasn’t disappointed at all. Although right now, I feel shitty. Depressed in away that I felt lonesome afterwards. Pathetic that I resorted to that kind of brain interlude. It was good though. I learned something without really learning anything. I discovered that I was right and I wasn’t let down. Even though it all seemed pathetic to me now, it was good one. I miss the intellectual wanking of mind. Not that there was any with the exchange of banter and silliness but , it was good nonetheless.

Of course, it’s not the “insidiously moronic”  smartest man I know but…I’m not complaining.

In hindsight of what I had done last night, I’ve come to realize how much I’m missing having someone to relax with and enjoy the moment. I guess that;s why I’m feeling sad now. Yes, I will keep on stressing the redundancy of it….impudent in manner that I find myself thinking this is what I am or was reduced to; a girl who is longing for something..or someone who will endure hours of keypad stroking for that bit of silliness. Of feeling like somebody cared..for once…because there’s always answer to thoughts ponder on. I am special. I exist…if only for that few hours of toomfoolery

So it’s past three in the morning….Cinderella left the glass slipper. And she is no more.

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