Pieces of You, Pieces of me

Oh the thoughts I’m thinking. What fucking lies beneath destined souls.

Somebody please shake me. I’ve been thinking so much about the past and whatever prospect of the future may happen if and when – but that’s wishful thinking. Really is. It’s a nice feeling though. It keeps me insanely sane or not. I can’t seem to put a break fluid on my emotions. I want to keep on tugging the sleeve, pull the string closer, clamped on that brain and pull forward to the past. Revert back and bring it to the future. If I could I would but I can’t so I won’t. But I want to. The sucky thing is that perhaps and it’s probably the reality of the whole thing, I am the only one who feels like this. Fuck. It’s aggravating to the mind. Sweetly and slowly killing me.

I like that it’s making me feel happy. But for every happiness there will always be something that will counter that mood. A constant reminder that what used to be is different now. Back then it felt like I had the Midas touch. I was in world of my own, enjoying clandestine moment. Dreaming of a fucking reality. I still am..dreaming.

The effect will certainly keep wondering what if…. so many what ifs. Being a realist though, I know that nothing’s gonna happen. But of course you’ll never know. Everybody changes. As for me, everything is still thesame. I am what I am how I used to be before is still what I am today and will always be.

I’m getting giddy and seeing the past. And it gave me a taste of medicated moment. It gave me more of hope. A blissful contentment in way that remembering how it felt like made me sad in happy way because…just because. When Harry met Sally it’s not.

Ambiguity sets but it’s easy to decipher. Somewhere only I know. Maybe we. But more of I.
By the way, I saw a message from a shoutbox thingie from “princess bride”..of chukie… “hmmm seems that you got yourself a president of ur fan club…” Fuck. what she doesn’t know.. it’s probably the other way around. Hell yeah. I’m so damn fucking assuming. As only I can be. Ha ha ha.
Yep. I’m a self sycophant.

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